You stopped posting for a long time, and then all of a sudden you started up again. We thought we were rid of you. What gives? Bernie L., Minneapolis, MN
Sorry to disappoint you, Bernie. I recently decided to stop writing in my journal. It just got to be too depressing. That’s one answer. Another answer is that I have all this stuff that comes into my head, but nowhere to put it. I thought about the grocery store bit from a few weeks ago and thought, what the hell am I going to do with this? The blog was the only thing I could think of. A third answer is that I’m hoping that forcing myself to write a weekly blog—seemingly, a very doable task—will instill the discipline I need to finish the novel. A fourth answer is that when I do finish the novel and start showing it around, I’ll have enough of an online presence to trick potential agents and/or publishers into thinking I’m more successful than I really am.
I like that you’re back working on the blog, but where are all the fake Bear Bryant quotes? We loved those. Terry M., Ottowa, IL
Yeah, um. Sorry. I don’t foresee those making a comeback, but you never know.
Where you been anyway? Steve D., Birmingham, AL
I’ve been living in a land beyond imagination, a world of enchantment and deep eroticism. And let me tell you, Hoss, the living is easy.
Still crazy as hell? Jamie L., Warrior, AL
If by crazy, you mean funny, then I guess I still am. If by crazy, you mean crazy then I guess I’m probably still that too.
Hey fool! You ready for another beating? You shoulda never came back! Clubber L., Chicago, IL
You know, you got a big mouth, you know?
How’s the novel coming? Samantha S., Los Angeles, CA
You people and your questions. Buzz off. I mean, beat it. Scram, I tell ya.
Radioactive Cotton Mailbag? Really? That seems like a cheap way to get credit for a new post. Are these people even real? Rodney K., Atlanta, GA
You tell me, Rodney. Are you real? Am I real? Are any of us real?
I seem to have misplaced the user manual to a Kenmore Elite 41072 5.2 cu. ft. Front-Load Washer w/Steam Treat®. Any idea where I might find a replacement? Albert K., Baltimore, MD
Have you tried Google?
Thanks. Is that on the internet? Albert K., Baltimore, MD
Yes. Yes it is.